The Whores Melt
This is a satisfying little snack that can be consumed any time of day or night, especially with strong alcohol or a succulent freshly rolled joint, or any other drugs for that matter. It can also be used as a pick me up after a long marathon of sexual excess when there is neither the will nor the energy to cook anything else.
You will require a sandwich toaster for this recipe.
Cut fresh soda bread into large triangles and cut in the middle to form a sandwich.
Butter generously using the most expensive and unhealthy butter you can find - don't hold back on quality!
Chop some tomatoes and onions into medium-fine chunks. Don't over refine - the essence here is bulk, heaviness, the sense of pure quantity in your mouth. This is especially important when half drunk, half stoned, and burned out with sexual excess.
Mush up the finest quality corned beef - never ever shirk on quality, if you must steal it - then do so.
Spread the corned beef mixed with onions and topped with tomatoes onto the lower layer of your generously buttered soda bread. Top with grated cheese, put on the top layer of the bread, shove in the sandwich toaster.
Wait for a good 5 minutes or more depending on the settings of your particular toaster. When the cheese is melted and the soda bread is lightly scorched - you are ready to debauch!
Swig down with a very fine ale. Not lager - again heaviness, pure Mass, quantity, is the essence of quality here.
If you are so inclined - tuna or bacon can replace the corned beef. Also you may add salt, ground peppercorns and mixed herbs if you so desire. I do recommend some ground opium lettuce mixed with ground salvia divinorum and a little THC for extra quality to your culinary experience.