Friday, 2 May 2014

10 things you have to do before you die

We see lists like these all the time filled with the usual trivial crap such as "take a hot air balloon ride" or maybe even go up the Eiffel Tower.  Pure pish the lot of it.  I say - if you're going to do 10 things - make a mark.  Do something that will REALLY etch itself into your memory and soul - and the memory and soul of the whole world around you.

A dozen 10 things lists could be drafted easily.  I say you should write up your own.  And feel free to write another 10 afterward.  Why not?  What's stopping you?  A number 10 rule?

Fuck it.  Here's 10 of mine:

Sodomise a cop - we should all grab a cop on duty, particularly during an angry protest, and sodomise that fucker good.  Make that cop enjoy it!  And enjoy making the cop enjoy it!  Get on in there!  It helps if the TV camera's are on you.  Get your friends to join in.

Have sex with an animal - go all the way and try something new.  We're tired of the usual mundane good sex guides and love live advice.  Why do we continue feeling sexually bored and frustrated no matter how many shit TV shows and 'good sex guides' we read?  Because it's designed to keep you bored to the point of impotence and frigidity.  Break the mould - spice things up.  Choose your animal and fuck it.

Conjure up a demon - commit some sacrilege, break the first commandment, call up some Djinn for a bit of banter and a bender.  Make sure Christians and Muslims bear witness to your apostasy.  Have fun.  Oh, and don't bother drawing a circle - if you do - break it or step outside and dance with the devil.  You say you have faith in God?  Well then - let's put THAT to the test!

Go naked in public - and do it lots.  Feeling a bit shy?  Well enjoy the thrill of emancipation then.  Go to a naked beach.  Then go naked off the naked beach.  Do it as often as you can at the most public places you can find.  Enjoy yourself!  Don't be ashamed if you get turned on.  Go all the way.

Have full sex with a stranger including cumming inside - applies equally to both men and women of course.  Girls - let a hot stranger cum inside you, just enjoy it.  Men - be men and don't be fucking cowards worrying about babies.  Roll with it.  Enjoy it.  Enjoy the ultimate risk.  Feel free to combine this one with going naked in public - believe me, double thrills means double pleasure.  Take your favourite pet.  If the cops come - well sodomise them.  Meaning you've done 3 things in one.  By the way - all that shit about unwanted preganncy and STD's is spoiling the fun.  Sure, bad things can happen, but sometimes people go on fairground rides only to lose limbs or vomit all over themselves :)

Live penniless or modern comforts for a month - go out into the wilds.  For your feed and watering you have to steal.  What you steal can be exchanged for coin at the pawnshop, that's the price of your feed.  Enjoy the thrill of theft an survival in a pure state of nature.  Live outwith the boundaries of the state.  Fuck Hobbes Leviathan - you don't need it.  Fuck Aristotle and his idea of being a good citizen as opposed to being a 'barbarian outside the city'.  I say be free - be wild - be your raw self with no shit, conformity, media or mod cons to get in the way between you and you.  So in a nutshell - this one of ten things to do simply says - go find yourself.

Have an orgy - we all want it.  And there is way more meaning to this than just fun wild sex.  Throw away all those bullshit superstitions about good behaviour, throw away that veil of morality with which you cover your soul.  Go truly naked - and be truly free.  Force yourself to be free - that means throw away the fetters of shame.  Scared of scandal?  Good!  When scandal comes - face it.  Too dangerous to do that?  Then fight it.  But one way or another - force yourself to be free, face it or fight it.  Fighting is always more fun though :)

Get into a fight with a pro MMA fighter, Navy Seal or some other such hard bastard.  If you're not by nature strong - be brave.  If you're already a tough nut - prove it to yourself or prove yourself wrong.  But either way - be brave and face up to it.  Not so hard after all are you?  At least you had the strength and courage to face that.  Knew you were weak?  Good on you for seeing in through.  It was fun wasn't it?  The adrenaline rush was almost as good as public sex eh?  Almost as good as fucking that cop or stealing that watch just to eat?  You only know your strengths and weaknesses when you really face up to them.  By the way - no harm in joining a dojo and doing this every day you know...  Get off the fucking sofa!

Become your logical opposite - challenge and re-evaluate all values!  So you're a Communist?  Go join the Neo Nazi's right now, for a whole month or three - literally BE a Nazi in every way.  Oh you're a Nazi already?  Then logically you'll be joining the Reds then won't you?  Have fun!  Christian?  Become a Satanist.  And so on.  You get it - for that whole month or three - you literally change your personality, your thinking, ALL your beliefs, everything, all your behaviour and activities and social attachments.  And do the opposite.  At the end - assess everything, see what you learned from taking the opposite perspective.  Now ask what you could learn from all the perspectives in between you and your opposite?

Join a secret Mystical Order.  What are you afraid of?  Yourself?

No doubt the astute reader observes one thing in this list of 10 - every action has a purpose.  To get nearer to the Truth, to reality, to your real self - casting off all the crap of the world that binds you in a delusion of meekness.  Blessed are the meek?  Do you feel blessed?  Or are you tired kidding yourself?  Take the leap over the Abyss!